Leaving a Local Legacy

No one knows Sam Rainer, Sr.—at least outside of Union Springs, AL. My grandfather was the mayor of the town and president of the local bank. He didn’t write books. He didn’t have speaking engagements. I don’t think he ever did a radio interview. He just poured his life into the town my grandmother endearingly called “Onion Sprouts” (she never told us why).

The Lord took him home in 1984, but his legacy remains. He was a war hero who flew D-Day. He sided with civil rights activists in the 1960s. He helped local underprivileged children. He gave loans to struggling farmers, approved by handshake. He had no desire for national prominence. He simply loved his community and worked hard to make it a great place.

We could use more leaders like Daddy-man (what I called him as a four year-old). There is a temptation as a leader to pour energy into personal “brand-building” enterprises that create national notoriety. I’ve been guilty of this thinking. In the church we need less spiritual celebrities and more local legacies.

I’m blessed to lead a church with many local heroes—men and women without fame. But they are legends in the Murray community they love. So here’s to all the Daddy-mans out there leaving local legacies—the world will never know who you are, and I know that’s fine with you.

I Want to Be an Old Man Some Day

I want to be an old man some day. My wife’s friends called me “old man Sam” when we started dating, but it doesn’t count. I am older than her, but not that much older. At 30, however, I think I’m more in the younger category than older. So one day I want to be an old man. One with lots of stories.

I look up to the older guys in my church. We young guys need to. There are a few things that I pray don’t disappear with the older generation. There are amazing stories to be told. And stuff to learn—good stuff that will hang with you. While I believe many men in the church desire to be godly leaders, there are some things that the older generation just does well. Here are some examples.

Hats. I love it that some of the older dudes in my church wear hats. It’s classy. Without a hat, you can’t tip a courtesy to a lady. And throwing a shoe just doesn’t work for celebration. More young men should wear hats (not grungy ball caps—it’s not the same thing). Next time I’m shopping with Erin, I’m going to try one on.

Letters. No one writes letters anymore. But I do get handwritten notes from the Builder generation. Young men should write letters—genuine, thoughtful letters—by hand.

Suits. Most older men dress classier. As many of you know, I’m not big on ties. But what happened to the suit? What happened to crisp shirts and sharp dress? Younger men should trade in their board shorts and t-shirts for suits (or at least a nice shirt, pants, and a jacket).

John Wayne. No male actor today even comes close. The older generation had real men who acted, not actors who pretend to be real men.  We need more movies like John Wayne’s movies.

Chivalry. I don’t even know if my generation can spell the word. I’m praying God works a miracle for my daughter, preserving chivalry long enough for her to find a man who still believes in it. Young men, please talk to some of the older guys in your church about chivalry. You will learn a lot.

Manhood.  There once was a clear distinction of what it meant to be a man. The boys were boys. The men were men. A rite of passage was required to move from boyhood to manhood. Now no one wants to grow up. No offense ladies, but this lack of distinction has feminized the church. We can learn from the older guys. They know what it means to be a man.

So I’m aiming to be an old man. Hat tips. Letters. Class. Chivalry. Younger men, you bring a lot to the table (and I know many of you agree with what I am saying), but there is so much to learn from the older guys. Older men, please don’t let your stories die with you. Tell them. Tell them well. Tell them to the next generation. We could use your wisdom. And your hats.

How to do a Guided Prayer

I recently blogged on baby dedications, and I mentioned we do them during our guided prayer time in the worship service. A pastor posted a few questions about our guided prayer, and I’ll answer them in this blog. Here’s what he asked:

I am interested in your guided prayer time. We are having a problem as we are a quickly growing church and have lots of events and activities added to our schedule every week. We have gotten to the point that every ministry wants to make some sort of announcement. We tried moving the announcements to the end of the service to keep it from interrupting the flow of the service and distracting from worship, but it is still too cumbersome. I am thinking this might be a plausible solution. I have some questions:

1. How do you decide what activities to pray over?
2. How do people respond if you don’t choose their activity?
3. Are you a large church or small church?
4. Does this make a difference in this approach?

Our church council of ministry team leaders decided we would make no announcements and I do not feel that is the right direction, but I don’t want to just shut them down, but would like to provide an alternative. Your answers could help us out of this sticky situation.

Jack Jacob

Jack, first it’s great to hear your church is growing! Obviously, growing pains are inevitable. I agree with your intuition—totally removing announcements from the service hinders your ability to communicate vision. Most announcements need to go; they distract, not assist, worship (nothing kills a worship service like kicking it off with death announcements).

One alternative I’ve found is to make an announcement by praying for an event. Our guided prayer time occurs in the first half of our service, following a few worship songs. It is led by me or another pastor of the church (or someone selected by one of the pastors). This focus helps build a culture of prayer within the church, and it also serves as a way the entire church can pray for one thing corporately. We are a larger church (3 services), so we too have many activities, programs, and events. And yes, they all want to make announcements in the service.

How do we decide what to pray over? Since I instituted this guided prayer time at our church, I ended up being the decision-maker (I work with our worship leaders on time, content, etc). Here are a few general guidelines I consider:

• The item should be church-wide or encompass a large group in the church.
• If the item needs several minutes of explanation, then the guided prayer is not the best way to communicate it.
• If you can’t present the item without a prayerful spirit, then it’s not the best time to do so (I announced our Super Bowl party from the baptistry once…not a good idea).
• If the item does not fit with the theme or flow of the service, then don’t force it.

The guided prayer has enabled us to do some things last minute (Haiti relief, etc), and it serves as a time buffer since we have a tight schedule on Sunday mornings. Honestly, the best part of it all is we pray corporately as a church, which many churches do not have as part of their regular worship services.

The people have responded well at FBC Murray, but I’m blessed to serve at a unified church. And I’ve done the guided prayer for most of my ministry, from a tiny country church to a large multi-site church to FBC Murray. I believe it’s great for any church, no matter what the size.

Thanks for the great question! Anyone else want to add a thought or two?

Dear Maggie

Below is a letter to my daughter—arrival date June 28th—that I included in our church’s weekly newsletter. I thought I might share it with you as well.

Dear Maggie,

We can’t wait for you to arrive! I love you so much. Mom loves you. And our church family loves you. In many ways, you are already blessed. You will be born into a family that loves Jesus, supported by another family—First Baptist Church Murray—that loves Jesus too. You will be born into a great community in a great nation where we are free to worship our Savior. Please don’t ever forget how precious freedom is.

While you are blessed, our family is not perfect. One of my many glaring weaknesses is how I can warp my love for Jesus’ church into workaholism. I am repenting now of my sin of misguided priorities, asking God to shape me into a father who puts his family first. You will also be born into a public life. You did not choose this life; it was one that was foreordained for you through my calling. The life of a pastor and his family is a public one. I can relate. I too grew up a pastor’s kid. It was a lot of fun. But there were a lot of challenges. I will always be there as your dad (and biggest cheerleader) during those challenges.

A church member reminded me today that God in His sovereign will has already prepared for you a spouse. Sometimes church members say silly things. I can’t imagine giving you away, but I know that day will come. This church member reminded me of how I need to pray that God will bless you with a man who loves Jesus. He’s right; I am praying. And until that time comes, I can promise that I will be the overprotective father who won’t let go of his little girl.

My ultimate goal in raising you is simple: to teach you to love Jesus more than anything or anyone else, including me. I pray for the day when you ask Jesus to be your Lord and Savior. I can’t wait to baptize you—my firstborn daughter—as my sister in Christ.

Your dad, mom, and church family love you!

Preparing for pink and purple,

Dad

How to Do a Baby Dedication

Most of you may know from my Twitter and Facebook updates that I’m going to be the dad of a little girl. Maggie Elizabeth is expected to arrive in this world on June 28th! My wife and I could not be more excited. I’m mentally preparing for a new world of pink and purple. I grew up in a household of boys, so I’m one of those clueless, first-time dads.

One of the joys of pastoring is dedicating children to the Lord. It will be special day when Erin and I get to dedicate Maggie. A child dedication is more than a quick prayer and blessing. It’s a challenge to the parents and church family to raise the child to love Jesus more than anything or anyone else. While there’s numerous ways churches do child dedications, let me share with you how I do them at First Baptist Church Murray.

• Rather than a group dedication with several families on Mother’s Day, we do them throughout the year. I try to have only one family dedicate their child in any given service. It allows the church to focus on one child, and it’s a little more special for the family.
• We do these dedications during our guided prayer portion of the service. The guided prayer is a time during each service that I lead. Rather than announcements or recognition times (which can interrupt the flow of the service), I use this time to pray over events, programs, or people of the church. The purpose is twofold: first, to build a culture of prayer being the foundation of every ministry. Second, it allows me to make an announcement, recognition, or do a baby dedication in a way that is appropriate for our worship services.
• I also write a letter to the child—sealed in an envelope—to be opened when the child accepts Christ. I write in the letter that the point of the child’s dedication was for the church and family to raise the child to love Jesus. This letter is given to the parents or guardians of the child at the dedication.
• After presenting the child to the church (it’s always a hit with the congregation), I issue a formal charge to the parents. I challenge them to raise their child in a Christian home and to show the love of Christ to their child.
• Next, I have the congregation stand and issue a challenge to the church. Like the parents, the congregation is to show Christ’s love to the child, but also to support the parents and hold them accountable.
• Our preschool director then gives the parents a children’s Bible, and mom gets a bouquet of flowers.
• The entire process builds up to the most important part of the dedication. Lastly, I call the entire congregation forward to lay hands on the parents, surrounding them in prayer. I then guide a prayer for the congregation and the parents. My prayer is that the Holy Spirit will begin the process of regeneration for the child and that the parents will be obedient in sharing Jesus with their child.