How to Do a Baby Dedication

Most of you may know from my Twitter and Facebook updates that I’m going to be the dad of a little girl. Maggie Elizabeth is expected to arrive in this world on June 28th! My wife and I could not be more excited. I’m mentally preparing for a new world of pink and purple. I grew up in a household of boys, so I’m one of those clueless, first-time dads.

One of the joys of pastoring is dedicating children to the Lord. It will be special day when Erin and I get to dedicate Maggie. A child dedication is more than a quick prayer and blessing. It’s a challenge to the parents and church family to raise the child to love Jesus more than anything or anyone else. While there’s numerous ways churches do child dedications, let me share with you how I do them at First Baptist Church Murray.

• Rather than a group dedication with several families on Mother’s Day, we do them throughout the year. I try to have only one family dedicate their child in any given service. It allows the church to focus on one child, and it’s a little more special for the family.
• We do these dedications during our guided prayer portion of the service. The guided prayer is a time during each service that I lead. Rather than announcements or recognition times (which can interrupt the flow of the service), I use this time to pray over events, programs, or people of the church. The purpose is twofold: first, to build a culture of prayer being the foundation of every ministry. Second, it allows me to make an announcement, recognition, or do a baby dedication in a way that is appropriate for our worship services.
• I also write a letter to the child—sealed in an envelope—to be opened when the child accepts Christ. I write in the letter that the point of the child’s dedication was for the church and family to raise the child to love Jesus. This letter is given to the parents or guardians of the child at the dedication.
• After presenting the child to the church (it’s always a hit with the congregation), I issue a formal charge to the parents. I challenge them to raise their child in a Christian home and to show the love of Christ to their child.
• Next, I have the congregation stand and issue a challenge to the church. Like the parents, the congregation is to show Christ’s love to the child, but also to support the parents and hold them accountable.
• Our preschool director then gives the parents a children’s Bible, and mom gets a bouquet of flowers.
• The entire process builds up to the most important part of the dedication. Lastly, I call the entire congregation forward to lay hands on the parents, surrounding them in prayer. I then guide a prayer for the congregation and the parents. My prayer is that the Holy Spirit will begin the process of regeneration for the child and that the parents will be obedient in sharing Jesus with their child.

The Future for the Suburban Church: Poorer, Denser, Grayer, and More Diverse

The fastest growing area of poverty in the United States is in the suburb. The Brookings Institute released a report in January that details the change in the U.S. poor population by community type. Here’s one of many findings in their report:

Between 2000 and 2008, suburbs in the country’s largest metro areas saw their poor population grow by 25 percent—almost five times faster than primary cities and well ahead of the growth seen in smaller metro areas and non-metropolitan communities. As a result, by 2008 large suburbs were home to 1.5 million more poor than their primary cities and housed almost one-third of the nation’s poor overall.

Over the course of this decade, two economic downturns translated into a significant rise in poverty, nationally and in many of the country’s metropolitan and non-metropolitan communities. Suburbs saw by far the greatest growth in their poor population and by 2008 had become home to the largest share of the nation’s poor.

I’ve blogged before about the dramatic change occurring in the American suburb. What was once  predominantly full of white, young, middle-class families is now shifting quickly. And many suburban churches are facing the same issues and decisions as urban churches were a generation ago.

Suburbs are getting denser—many of them being retro-fitted with new town centers providing a full slate of amenities within walking distance. Churches that move towards smaller, micro-sites are more likely to reach the segment of the population living here.

Suburbs are graying. The “senior” population will grow 36% between 2010 and 2020 due to the aging Boomer generation. The church that calls the Boomers “seniors” and attempts to reach them with existing models of senior ministry will fail. Just the name alone turns Boomers off—they hate being called seniors.

Suburbs are becoming more diverse. The influx of Latino, black and Asian students accounts for 99% of the increase in the student population of public schools in the suburbs. Suburban churches that remain homogeneous will have an uphill battle reaching the next generation that views heterogeneity as normative. These students will gravitate towards churches that mirror the ethnic diversity of their schools.

Bad Boss Pastors Who Drive You Nuts

Pastors can have two personas: one the congregation sees and one the staff sees. While the goal is to be the same person around everyone, it often does not play out. The reality is you act differently around staff you work with for hours on end each day, compared to other congregants you may see in passing once or twice a week. This dichotomy is not necessarily bad, but it can be when the pastor plays nice with the congregation while poorly leading the staff. Maltreating the staff places them in the awkward situation of not liking—or worse, detesting—the one leader the church loves.

While I believe most pastors truly want the best for their church and staff, some fall short of this level of integrity. So what makes a bad boss pastor? BusinessWeek had a great article on bad corporate bosses. I’ll tweak their thoughts for ministry leaders and shepherds. Here are some ways pastors can drive their staff nuts:

• Pretend you know better than everyone else, especially in areas that require specialized knowledge or technical expertise you don’t have.
• Don’t take notes and constantly check your phone at meetings. Better yet, do all the talking at “team” meetings.
• Make up your vision as you go. Create fires to accomplish this short-sightedness.
• Have a meeting. Throw ideas out like flinging spaghetti against a wall. Then don’t tell anyone what you thought stuck.
• Design a big, ongoing task for your team. Then never mention it again.
• Create a bunch of drama over something really small. Call an all-staff meeting to discuss it.
• Tell the staff one thing. Then tell the church the exact opposite from the pulpit at your primary worship services.
• Never discipline anyone, and try to be everyone’s best friend.
• Charm the congregation with your talent and eloquence. Bark orders at the staff.
• Listen to prominent and powerful church members more than your direct reports.
• Don’t tell anyone when you’ll be on vacation.
• Tell the congregation, “The buck stops with me.” Then flee from intra-staff conflict.
• Create rules for the staff. Make exceptions for yourself.
• Remove any hope for levity in the office. Stare sternly all the time and talk only about serious theological issues.
• Be more interested in denominational politics than in your local church.
• Never address the elephant in the room. Pretend it’s not there.
• Micromanage. Send a three-page email with detailed instructions to someone with whom you do not typically interact.
• Be threatened by others that are more talented than you. To deal with your insecurity, reassign these talented people to ministry areas outside of their talent.
• Be an amiable autocrat.
• Begin every meeting with a 30-minute devotional.

I know there are more. Any you want to add?

Statistical Snapshots Worth Noting

Stats are like still photographs—they reveal something about a specific place and time. One of the greatest sources for stats in the United States is the Statistical Abstract, published annually. It’s been around a long time (since 1878), and it is often used as a gauge for other national studies. Robert J. Samuelson recently reported on the just-released 2010 abstract. Here are some interesting tidbits about our culture as it stands today:

• 76% of Americans drive to work alone.  Only 10% carpool, and 5% use public transportation, while 3% percent walk to work. On average, Americans spend 25 minutes commuting each way (I once was above average here, now I’m glad to be well below average. Living in a small town has its advantages).
• Smoking has declined from 25% of adults in 1990 to 20%.
• Five-year survival rates for cancer are up. The percentage of people voting is also up—the 57% turnout in 2008 was the highest since 1968.
• Garbage per person has remained constant—it was 4.5 pounds per day in 1990, and it is now 4.6 pounds per day.
• Almost two-fifths of all U.S. births were to unmarried women, double the amount in 1980.
• The share of children under the federal poverty line has not changed in 1980.
• Nearly one-quarter of elementary and high school students are immigrants or have immigrant parents.

Tracking the Millennials

The Pew Research Center will begin a large project in 2010 involving the millennial generation (according to them, this generation represents those born between 1981 and 2000). It’s one to watch—I’m sure many of the results will reveal important insights into the next generation. Here’s a snippet explaining their research:

Generations, like people, have personalities. Their collective identities typically begin to reveal themselves when their oldest members move into their teens and twenties and begin to act upon their values, attitudes and worldviews.

America’s newest generation, the Millennials, is in the middle of this coming-of-age phase of its life cycle. Its oldest members are approaching age 30; its youngest are approaching adolescence. Who are they? How are they different from — and similar to — their parents? How is their moment in history shaping them? And how might they, in turn, reshape America in the decades ahead? The Pew Research Center will try to answer these questions through a yearlong series of original reports that explore the behaviors, values and opinions of today’s teens and twenty-somethings.

The researchers at Pew already have some data on this generation. From a big-picture perspective, here’s what they have found:

• They are the most ethnically and racially diverse cohort of youth in the nation’s history; a record low 59.8% are white.
• They are starting out as the most politically progressive age group in modern history.
• They are the least religiously observant youths since survey research began charting religious behavior.
• They are more inclined toward trust in institutions than were either of their two predecessor generations — Gen Xers (who are now ages 30 to 45) and Baby Boomers (now ages 46 to 64) when they were coming of age.

Ethnic diversity and progressive politics do not shock me, but more trust in institutions is a surprise. I do believe (as I’ve blogged before) that ethnic heterogeneity will become normative for this generation—that’s good thing, and churches should respond accordingly. But it’s tough to draw conclusions from these short points, so I’ll be curious to see what more data reveals about this generation. Any preliminary thoughts?

As a side note, I’m in favor of making 1980 the starting point for this generation. It’s easier to remember, and I was born in 1980—that way I can be in the same generation as my little brothers. Of course, I did listen to a lot of grunge growing up, so maybe I am more of a Gen Xer